Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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