I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
