she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
