Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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