The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
