no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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