How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
