Christians are straight up FREAKS
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
