Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
