You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
