It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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