Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize