SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize