exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
PANTIES FOUND
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