The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
