Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
