I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
porn star boner night. come get it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
