Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
