we're blogging at a bar
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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