I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
