based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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