Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
