Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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