What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think my vagina is haunted
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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