Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
All I want is dick and wine.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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