I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize