And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
