She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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