just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
