Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
