Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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