I want to stick my p in your. b.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
