i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
