Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
that's an acceptable place to lick
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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