So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
