He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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