She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize