Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you will always have a special place in my vag
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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