i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
