You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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