My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
