ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
