I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
