He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
