he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
