is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
