We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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