I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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