I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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