My cat gives me a boner
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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