He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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