I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
