OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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