Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
